Thursday, August 17, 2006

Keep coming back

Good Morning, I Went to a meeting last night. It was a great meeting. When I went in to the meeting I was fine. All was well. When I left the meeting I was told "You had a non approachable attitude." Really? The meeting was good like I said, I heard my story in other people's sharing and I didn't like what I saw in me and saw some room for change. I got pissed off at myself and didn't want to be "social." That was on the out side...On the inside I was lonely and was desperate for someone to just say hi and get me out of my head. I can't figure out why people keep telling me to keep coming back. I didn't want to share last night. I wanted to listen. I was told to keep coming back. When I share I'm told to keep comming back. WTF!!! Is it that I'm still so early in recovery that I "Think" I know all the answers and all the old timers "Know" all the answers. Do they think I'm...Fill in the blank...Why is it I'm always told to keep comming back? I don't get it. If their is nothing Wrong with me then find something else to tell me. Like one day at a time. Principles before personalities or Live and let live. If their is some thing wrong with my thinking tell me that too so I can change it.
I Had a rough day at work yesterday. I almost walked off the job. I cut my left thumb open. If the majority of the cut wasn't through my nail then I would have had to get stitches. I LOVE STICHES!!! I really hope today is a better day! I had a shitty attitude yesterday! I work 8am to 5pm today. Have off tomorrow (payday) work Saturday. Off sun and mon. I really need a few days off I'm getting burnt out!
How do I tell the boss to get off my fucking back, with out loosing my job? How do I say Hey pig fucker I know how to do my job Leave me alone! Let me do it! Go hump someone else's leg and quit intreupting my "zone." or look you stupid bitch LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE and let me do my job! This is how I felt yesterday. Today I would like to have a better attitude than that. Although the question is still their. Mr. M just leave me alone go pester someone else PLEASE.
Ok It's that time agian have a good day all. Hope you have a good day. yfG

3 comments:

dAAve said...

DEEP COMING BACK is a phrase that has gained popularity throught the years of AA. Many of us (me included, certainly) were ready to give up on AA. By coming back, I hear what I need, long after the drinking has stopped. We have short memories so we remind ourselves to KEEP COMING BACK.
As for the rest of your post, you actually answer most of your questions. You state that you have a bad attitude and are unhappy. People react to those vibes you give out. Turn it around with a good attitude and being of help/service to others and you may find a wholly different reaction from people towards you.
It's all about changing our old ways for new ones. One day at a time.
Keep Coming Back.
LOL

Alcoholic Brain said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alcoholic Brain said...

oops, I deleted my comment. I echo what dAAve says. Keep coming back, rather than going out. You have a gift. Keep giving...