Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Light.

Good Morning. The Light is on but no one is home. I have an empty gap in my heart. I seem to have left my heart in Idaho with my daughter! I'm Lost! I'm finding it very difficult to stay focused and work hard. My common sense has been shut off, and I can't remember shit! I'm slow and dumb at work. LOL. Kind of like the new little retarded kid at work I Guess. LOL.
On a lighter note:) I'm Finally in my own room again :):):) roommate #2 is gone and it seems to be a lot more ... Serene here in the house :) I bought a set of pans last night:) Another first for me:)
Have a good day everyone:) I must get ready for work:)

Sunday, October 01, 2006


Good Afternoon. The wind has been blown out of my sails. I've been in a state of shock this last week. SO MANY things to take a look at. Where do I want to raise my kids. How do I want to raise my kids. How do I NOT want to raise my kids. Do I want to take my step son, or not? How do I raise kids? will I be a GOOD father? Yes. How will I ever have enough money? What do I currently have to change in my personal life in order to be a parent that can be able to lead by example. Damn thats a BIG one. Jobs. Education for me and for the kids. How will I find time for the kids, work, rest, and personal? food for 3. School supplies, clothes, Heat in the winter. And the list goes on. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. But I have this nagging voice that has convinced me to make a plan for the future. It seems that I have always lived for the moment. I do not think that this method would be good to use any longer with the prospect of being a single father of 2. Thank God that my wife is doing her thing. This is what I have been praying for for a long time. I have always wanted to be a single father. I just wish that I would have not waited so long to be a part of my daughters life. It has been way too long.