Sunday, October 01, 2006

Stuck.

Good Afternoon. The wind has been blown out of my sails. I've been in a state of shock this last week. SO MANY things to take a look at. Where do I want to raise my kids. How do I want to raise my kids. How do I NOT want to raise my kids. Do I want to take my step son, or not? How do I raise kids? will I be a GOOD father? Yes. How will I ever have enough money? What do I currently have to change in my personal life in order to be a parent that can be able to lead by example. Damn thats a BIG one. Jobs. Education for me and for the kids. How will I find time for the kids, work, rest, and personal? food for 3. School supplies, clothes, Heat in the winter. And the list goes on. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. But I have this nagging voice that has convinced me to make a plan for the future. It seems that I have always lived for the moment. I do not think that this method would be good to use any longer with the prospect of being a single father of 2. Thank God that my wife is doing her thing. This is what I have been praying for for a long time. I have always wanted to be a single father. I just wish that I would have not waited so long to be a part of my daughters life. It has been way too long.

5 comments:

dAAve said...

Sounds like you're (still) trying to control every aspect of your life.
My sponsor would tell me to read Step 3 in the 12&12 every day for the next month.

Trudging said...

She looks like a wonderful little girl

Alcoholic Brain said...

Good thought dAAve. I agree Greg. I've always said if one wants to gain control, we have to give up control. NA meetings would be a beautiful thing...

kel said...

and don't forget to breathe.... thats the thing I tend to forget to do!

Sober Chick said...

I have not come upon the perfect parent yet. What you have is the greatest love for your daughter, allow it to flow, don't constrict it with rules.

It is great that you are processing all of your fears of this. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.